Grabbing Onto the Rock: A Journey Through Anxiety and Faith

Grabbing Onto the Rock

Marriage is a journey, and my wife and I celebrated 28 years together this December. Along the way, we’ve raised six amazing kids, welcomed a son-in-law into our family, and been blessed with two grandsons. Through the ups and downs, the chaos and calm, our life has become a tapestry woven in faith, learning, and love. As someone who holds a theology degree in Bible Comprehension, a master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy, and is nearing the completion of a PhD in Developmental Psychology, you might think I have life pretty much figured out. But let me paint a picture of who I really am—a guy who has been knocked off balance by life and had to learn how to grab onto the Rock.

A few years ago, I found myself outside Charleston, SC, on a fishing trip with my brother-in-law Murph (Steve Murphy). We were surf fishing, and despite our best efforts, we weren’t catching anything. Eventually, I moved out onto a jetty—a long line of rocks—hoping for better luck. Now, it’s important to mention here that in order to get to this particular fishing spot we had to climb over the fence marked “No Fishing, Dangerous Undertow.” The water churned as barges rolled through the channel, creating massive tidal waves. Naturally, I didn’t notice these waves until it was far too late. Twice, the waves nearly took me under as they hit me while running back to the beach from the end of the jetty. Twice, I was saved by clinging to the rocks covered in razor-sharp shells and barnacles. Soaked and shaken, I realized how small and out of control I really was.

That experience became a metaphor for a moment in my life when I felt equally unmoored.

My First Anxiety Attack

A few years after that fishing trip, I faced an anxiety attack that left me feeling just as vulnerable. At the time, I was working at Northview Church, a 7,000-member congregation. My role demanded 70-hour workweeks, overseeing over 1,000 kids each weekend with a staff of seven. On top of that, I was studying for my master’s—logging 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. shifts several nights a week—while navigating the adoption process for our daughter, Jada. The pressure was overwhelming.

Then… it hit. I became paranoid, angry, and physically shaky. Sleep was a luxury I couldn’t afford, and everything felt like it was falling apart. This wasn’t supposed to happen to me. Anxiety? That was for other people, not someone like me. But I learned that anxiety doesn’t discriminate.

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is more than just a feeling. When the amygdala—the brain’s alarm system—perceives a threat, it triggers the hypothalamus to activate the stress response. Your heart races, your breathing quickens, and your body prepares for a fight-or-flight reaction. In an anxious brain, the amygdala becomes overactive, drowning out the rational prefrontal cortex that’s supposed to calm things down.

As a pastor and a counselor, I deal with two forms of anxiety: clinical and Biblical. Clinical anxiety involves brain health issues that may require therapy or medication. It’s like a chemical imbalance in the brain’s production of serotonin. Biblical anxiety, often referred to as worry, is carrying concerns so heavily that we lose perspective and trust in God.

Anxiety in Men

While anxiety affects both genders, it manifests differently in men. Approximately 9.7% of men in the U.S. experience anxiety disorders, but many underreport symptoms. For some, anxiety shows up as anger or irritability, leading to physical health issues like heart disease. Whether you’re in your 20s or navigating the transitions of later life, anxiety doesn’t respect boundaries.

Finding the Rock: Biblical Perspective

Philippians 4:6 reminds us: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” This doesn’t mean we’ll never feel anxiety; it means we shouldn’t live in a perpetual state of it. The Greek word for “anxious” is merimnao, which means to carry concerns so heavily that they dominate your life. Anxiety pulls us into a spiral of self-centeredness, but Romans 12:2 offers a way out: “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Practical Steps to Deal with Anxiety

1. Capture Your Thoughts

   
   

   Self-awareness is key. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, “Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” When you feel yourself spiraling, acknowledge it.

2. Compare Your Thoughts

   
   

   Situational awareness helps you frame your anxiety. Ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?” and replace lies with truth. For example:

   • Automatic Thought: “I’m worthless.”

     
     

     Truth: “I have value to God” (Matthew 10:31).

3. Correct Your Thoughts

   
   

   Remind yourself that God is in control. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

4. Create New Thoughts

   
   

   Surround yourself with positivity. Philippians 4:8-9 encourages us to focus on what is true, honorable, and praiseworthy.

Clinging to the Rock

Just as I clung to the rocks on that fishing trip to avoid being swept away, we must cling to God as our foundation when anxiety threatens to pull us under. Romans 12:1 calls us to “offer your bodies as a living sacrifice.” This is about daily surrender—to our families, our responsibilities, and, most importantly, to God.

Anxiety tries to isolate us, but transformation happens in community and through service. By renewing our minds, capturing our thoughts, and grounding ourselves in God’s truth, we can find peace even in the storm.

If anxiety is part of your journey, remember this: You don’t have to face it alone. Grab onto the Rock, and let God steady your footing. He’s been there all along, ready to hold you firm when the waves come crashing in.