People Are The Way They Are For A Reason: A Personal Story

People are the way they are for a reason

"People are the way they are for a reason."

It's a phrase I've used for years. One I teach every team I lead. Every pastor, minister, counselor, and professional helper needs to know it, and more importantly, understand it. The way a person acts, reacts, thinks, and behaves is wrapped up in how they were raised and every experience they've had up to this point. All of it shapes how they see the world around them.

I once had a little boy in my ministry who was a real handful. If you've worked with kids for any length of time, you've met one. He never sat still. Never stopped talking. While the teacher tried to give instructions, this kid was crawling under chairs and tables, disrupting every child around him. Usually, I can handle a kid like that pretty easily, but not this one. It got to the point where I had to sit down with his mom during the week to figure something out. He was becoming too much of a distraction.

When I met with her, I was careful not to pile on. She already looked exhausted, and the last thing I wanted was to add to her burden. But as I began explaining the situation, her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm so sorry," she said.

"His father and I are divorced. His father owns a bar in the area. Every other week, my son stays with him, and during that time, he's exposed to things no child should ever see. When I pick him up Sunday morning to bring him to church, he's usually a mess. Little to no sleep. Surrounded by adult situations all week long."

In that moment, everything changed.

From that day forward, I saw that little boy differently. I saw what was behind the behavior. My frustration turned to compassion. My patience grew. Instead of seeing him as a problem, I started seeing him as a calling.

It was all different from that point on.

So, say it with me:

"People are the way they are for a reason."

What would it take to look at the person frustrating you right now, and wonder what's behind it? Think about your own hard days. Imagine if someone knew the morning you'd had, the weight you were carrying. Wouldn't that change how they treated you? Wouldn't you want them to give you just a little grace?

Learn this phrase. Live it. It will change how you see, treat, and love people.

It'll change everything.

Looking for some 1-on-1 guidance? Sometimes the best help isn’t the right resource, it’s the right conversation. Why not try a personalized coaching call? Book a 30-minute FREE consultation HERE